The Truth About Chasing The Love You Deserve

By Rayi Noormega - May 06, 2017

People said that we should fight for the one we love. The movies said that love is worth fighting for and when you decide to give up, it’s not love.
Maybe that’s why; Tom on 500 Days of Summer never gave up for chasing Summer, even though at the end of the story she married another man. But, that’s love, isn’t? It’s called love when all you do is struggling over that one person whom you deeply in love with.
People tend to believe that when it’s hard, it’s real.
People tend to love the idea of what comes easy is not worth it. Then, they are romanticizing the process of chasing love; they keep fighting to get that one person and hoping that the universe will aspire to unite them together. No matter how long it takes, no matter how painful it feels, they will keep on fighting for that one person.
You spend your nights praying for that one person, you will go a thousand miles just to meet them and you sacrifice yourself just to please that one person who now pops up in your mind. But, is that love?
What if I tell you that true love is actually simple and easy?
What if actually, after all this time, you have an obsession over that one person rather than love?

I haven’t met my true love yet, but I believe it will come easy. It will come easy, simply because the fight comes from both sides; me and him. Love should be easy because when two of you are struggling together, it won’t feel hard.

When you are spending your nights to think about them, they should be can’t sleep either because you are there, on their 2 a.m. thoughts. When you walk a thousand miles just to see their face, they should tell you it’s not necessary because they will walk towards you instead. 

They will also remember your birthday when you are looking for the best gifts on their birthday, they will crave for your presence on their worst days the same when you are craving to hear their voices; they will fight for you the same way you do. That’s love.
Before you keep on chasing and struggling over that special person, ask yourself; is it love?

When you are struggling to meet them and all they did was canceling the plans, ask yourself. When all they did was breaking their promises to you and made you wonder whether they are into you or vice versa, it’s time to re-consider your chase.

Love is not confusing; you will know it’s real when it feels real. Love and illusion are totally different even though when you are in love, it’s hard to differentiate both of them.
You have to stop the ‘chase’ when all you did was tortured yourself to get their attention towards you. I know you are a fighter and you will give your best effort for that one person in your mind, but please, remember that you have something called self-worth too.
Love is not equal to chase, dear, because it’s about giving.
You can say that you love them when you pray for them because you want the best for that person, not for begging the universe to unite both of you together. You love them when you try your best to be present in their special days just to add happiness in their faces, not for getting their attention towards you. You love them when there is no expectation about whether that person is meant to be with you or vice versa, because you just love them even when they belong to someone else.
When you’ve done your best to love the people in your surroundings, the universe will give you the same kind of love you gave from the people you’ll meet. Maybe you won’t receive real love from that one person you chase over, but that shouldn’t be matter because at the end of the day, what’s matter is the love you give and receive.

It’s never about the chase.

I know it’s easier said than done and it’s cliché, but that’s just the universe works. The universe will prioritize to give what you need, not always what you want.
Look around you and look closer. Little do you know, there is someone who loves you deeply without expecting you to return it; and at the end of the day, that person is exactly the one who worth your fights and struggles.
When it feels sincere, that’s love. 

Featured image via pexels

Originally published at Thought Catalog (December 19, 2017)

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