What I Learned From Watching My Big Sister Grow Up

By Rayi Noormega - May 06, 2017

Most of the time, I’ve taken for granted the presence of my older sister because I’ve been around her since I was born. She was always there, 24/7, and more often than not, she annoyed me or vice versa.
As we grow older and now live apart from each other, I’ve realized that she was actually teaching me so many life lessons as I watched her make the decisions she made in her life. So, here are 5 things that she taught me better than anyone else could have:

1. Don’t try to please anyone and just do what makes you happy

The first thing that she taught me was about how important our passion is. Her decision of taking the major that she didn’t really like at university made her realize that following your passion is the key to happiness. She forced me to ignore other people’s opinion regarding my future plans and to pursue my own passion as well as my interests. She was right; I’ve never regretted the decisions that I took regarding my life, especially with my major.

2. Love yourself first in order to love others

More often than not, we are afraid of falling in love because we haven’t loved ourselves completely. My sister always reminds me that people have to ‘finish with their own issues’ first before they love others. In order to love, we have to be content with ourselves, which means, we accept the way we are; we accept our flaws, insecurities, strengths as well as our weaknesses. When we can’t love ourselves, who will?

3. Communication is the key to fixing conflicts

Most of the times, when I argue with my sister, she always gives me the ‘silent treatment’ which makes everything worse than before. From that experience, I’ve learned that communication is the key to understanding some different perspectives. I learn that it’s okay to say what we feel and what we believe because that’s what will make other people understand. Silence will only lead us to misunderstandings and create more disagreements to come.      

4. People will disappoint you, but be kind anyway

Sometimes, we give everything to the people in our surroundings, yet they keep disappointing us. My sister always reminds me that kindness is all about what we give to others and it’s not about what we get in return. I know that this one is so cliché and easier said than done, but I think she’s right. If we always think about what we will get in return after we give something to others, it’s not kindness, and it’s a business deal.

5. Life is not like Disney movies

I still remember that my childhood memories mostly involved watching Disney movies and my sister’s favorite was Mulan. But as time goes by, and now both of us are in our 20s, we agree that no one is a princess who will be saved by a prince. Life is hard and the most accurate Disney character is Peter Pan who doesn’t want to grow up. Both of us know that life is all about the struggles and no one will save us but ourselves.
Despite the fact that my older sister can be stubborn and bossy, I know that she wants all the best for me; she doesn’t want her sister to repeat the same mistakes that she did in her life. At the end of the day,
“SISTERS FUNCTION AS SAFETY NETS IN A CHAOTIC WORLD, SIMPLY BY BEING THERE FOR EACH OTHER.” – CAROL SALINE  
Featured image via pexels

Originally published at Unwritten (November 30, 2016) 

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