This Time I Will Stop Chasing You

By Rayi Noormega - September 19, 2017


At last, I’m getting tired of chasing you.
This is me saying goodbye to those sleepless nights wondering whether you’ve taken me for granted or otherwise. This is me saying goodbye to those unanswered questions about your behavior and words which I never understand. I’m done guessing your true feelings towards me and I’m tired of being the one who always stays. I’m done thinking that I will never be good enough for you because you’ve always found somebody else to replace me.
This whole time, I’ve valued you more than I’ve valued myself and I was too blind to realize that you’ve never valued me at all. I’m done blaming myself for being the way I am when you always decide to leave me behind. I have done my best to make you stay and if you still don’t see how hard I hold on to you, all of my efforts will be your loss, not mine.

This time, I will no longer waste my time for the people who don’t see my worth.

From now on, I will stop chasing you or anybody else, because I now believe that people shouldn’t be chased if they have the pure intention to stay.
I don’t have time to convince you or other people that I’m worthy of being loved. I don’t want to waste my time trying to make you believe that I should be the one who you chase. I’m tired of always being the one who fights when there is no guarantee whether this battle will be won or otherwise. I’m done torturing myself whenever I have to wait for you to come along and decide to stay instead of looking for someone else.

I’m slowly accepting the fact that whenever I have to chase after someone, that’s the exact moment I’ve already lost them and I should let them go.

This chasing game is too painful, but I will never blame you for my heartbreak. You made me realize my own self-worth and made me stronger than before. You made me see those people who actually never left, and how after all this time, I’ve taken them for granted. Thank you for making me chase after you; thank you for making me love myself more than before.
This time, I will never chase after people in my life.
You don’t have to worry at all because I will slowly forgive myself for chasing you. I will never see this as a mistake, but a lesson learned. I will never hate you because when you decide to leave, you’re actually giving me the chance to meet the right people in my life and I thank you for that. From now on, you can run as fast as you possibly can since I will stop my feet from taking another step towards you.
This is me, setting you free.

Maybe in a few years, things will change and this chasing game will make you recognize my worth. I hope someday when you look back, you’ll realize that I was here all along.

Promise me that you will never again take people for granted, because there are people out there who will do anything for you and you should value them the same way you value yourself. Keep them close to your heart, because you’ll never know how hard they fight their battles and survive just for you.
This time, I will stop chasing you. At last, I’m letting go of someone who was never even mine.

Featured image via falllenskies
Originally published at Thought Catalog (September 13, 2017)

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