This Is How You Love Someone Without Being Vulnerable

By Rayi Noormega - October 18, 2017


I used to believe that love will always come with the risk of pain, that love and vulnerability come in a package. When you love someone wholeheartedly, you will give them your all, inside and out. You will make them see your true self and that’s the exact moment when you give yourself to them, without realizing that they could break your heart in a second.

But, is it possible to love without getting hurt?

Is it possible to love someone so deep it makes you stronger instead of feeling fragile? We all want to love and feel strong at the same time. We all want the kind of love which never breaks us into parts. The kind of love which feels secure and full of answers instead of doubts. The kind of love which makes us feel content for just being ourselves; the kind of love which makes us feel authentic and honest.
I have seen myself fall in and out of love for a while and now, I believe that we are able to love without being vulnerable because love shouldn’t make you feel delicate.

A real love will empower you to grow as a better person inside and out.

It makes you brave enough to speak your heart out and makes you feel carefree. It makes you feel fearless because you will be attached without the feeling of being chained; a real love ignites your soul and nourishes it with compassion.
Loving someone without being vulnerable means that you sincerely make yourself as their home, without expecting them to be yours. It happens when you realize that you are your own home and you don’t need their presence to feel secure. It happens when you let the door open for them and let them leave without hoping that they will come back. It happens when you support them reach their highest goals without expecting them to thank you in the end.
Loving someone without being vulnerable means that you generously care for their happiness, without making their actions toward you become your happiness. It happens when you send them prayers without expecting them to do the same. It happens when you help them to get back up again after failures without hoping that they will catch you when you fall. It happens when you remember their special days and feel okay if they don’t remember yours.
Loving someone without being vulnerable means that you let them choose to whom they will give their heart. It happens when you fully realize that you can’t make people stay and they have a right to leave. It happens when you believe that affection should be given freely without being asked. It happens when you know that the right people will always find their way back to you and vice versa. Loving someone without being vulnerable means that you always prepare yourself to let them go.
Loving someone without being vulnerable only happens when you don’t expect any reciprocation from the other person. The only thing that you do for them is loving and giving, without having any expectations.
I know it’s easier said than done, but when you love someone without any expectations, it feels easy and effortless. As bitter as it sounds, sometimes your expectation is the only thing that breaks your heart into parts. You are the one who hurts your own heart because you expect them to love you the same way as you love them. This is your own mind games and you are the one who complicates love while it is actually a simple thing.

In the end, you will feel rejected only if you expect an acceptance. When expectation is not involved in loving people, you won’t feel rejected at all.

You need to always remember that you are the ones who control your own feelings and thoughts. When you want to love, love as deeply as you possibly can, but don’t be blinded by emotions and don’t forget to keep your expectation on guard. Remember that you can’t expect someone to love you as purely as you love yourself.

At the end of the day, when you’re able to love yourself as deeply as you love another person, that’s the exact time you can love someone without being vulnerable. 


Featured image via Falllenskies
Originally published at Thought Catalog (October 13, 2017)

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