The True Meaning of Self-Love and 10 Other Ways to Understand It



This year, I've committed to myself for practicing self-love and truly comprehend its meaning in my daily basis. After I had a major pain of having a broken heart from someone who took me for granted, I knew that the fault wasn't coming from him; it was me who didn't love myself enough and I gave all of myself to the person who couldn't appreciate it.

Thus, I knew that one thing I'm always lacking is self-love and I need to learn how to have it within myself.

I did research, but little do I realize, I've written about self-love within my published articles at Thought Catalog and Unwritten. Here's 10 ways about self-love which I learned and wrote after many times of broken hearts and confronted countless hurricanes in my early 20s:

1. Self-love is when you realize you don't need a new kind of love after a broken heart


It is when you understand that you don’t need anybody else to give you love as you’ve already felt content with yourself. Self-love is realizing that you don’t need anyone to make you shine as you know that you are already a complete universe.

"In this world full of chaos, let yourself be the soft rain. Stop building homes within people and start to build one within yourself instead. Never apologize for being the one who loved the most and if you love again, don’t you ever stop to meet them halfway." You Don’t Need A New Kind of Love

2. Self-love is brave enough to leave something toxic behind for good


Self-love is knowing your worth. It is realizing the red flags from those people who took you for granted and know the exact time to burn the bridge, simply because they can’t appreciate your presence.

"I knew I was broken here and there, but I’ve decided to make some huge decisions all at once; I quit my job and left someone whom I loved the most, simply because he was emotionally abusing my well-being. At that moment, I was breaking the cycle, which made me suffer, and it became one of the lowest points in my life. It was difficult to stand tall once again, but surprisingly, I did." -What’s Meant to Be YoursWill Never Leave

3. Self-love is about being proud of yourself for making this far


Practicing self-love is not when you don’t do any mistakes at all, it is when you realize that you’ve done your best to get through the shit in life and you choose to keep on going anyway.

"When you’re busy living your life, you will be amazed how you have passed the pain without your concern. You will be proud of yourself, of making it this far, without that person who once stole your heart and never gave it back. You won’t need them to bring back your heart, simply because you’ve grown a new heart through those beautiful moments you’ve made with countless new people along the way." - Why The OnlyWay To Move On Is To Find Yourself

4. Self-love is knowing that you are able to forgive yourself

I believe that forgiving yourself is one of the definitions about self-love. And I know it’s hard.
"5. You’re brave enough to leave a toxic relationship. Forgiving yourself also means that you no longer allow anybody to abuse you or your inner being. You know your worth and you will never hesitate to leave those relationships which only make you suffer." -10 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You’re Forgiving Yourself
5. Self-love is having no obsession to own someone to be yours

It is realizing that you don’t need to chase anybody else, because you totally understand that the one who truly loves you will always stay without being asked.

"This whole time, I’ve valued you more than I’ve valued myself and I was too blind to realize that you’ve never valued me at all. I’m done blaming myself for being the way I am when you always decide to leave me behind. I have done my best to make you stay and if you still don’t see how hard I hold on to you, all of my efforts will be your loss, not mine." - This Time, I Will Stop Chasing You 
6. Self-love means you stop blaming yourself and embracing your own mistakes

You know that you are practicing self-love when you stop blaming yourself for those decision you’ve taken, the failures that you had, and all mistakes that you’ve done in the past.

"I should stop blaming myself for those relationships which didn’t work out; I should stop trying to fix anything that has been broken in the first place. I will forgive myself for how I always compare my life to others, how I’ve taken the granted all the blessings I had, and on how I hate my flaws instead of loving them." - This Is How You Forgive Yourself When Everything Falls Apart

7. Self-love is knowing what you truly deserve and letting go those things which not meant for you

It is when you realize that you deserve to be treated well and you let go of those toxic relationships with the ones who treated you like shit. Self-love is when you know that you don’t deserve to be treated like a second option.

"You deserve to be loved the same way you have loved other people. You deserve that gentle and generous affection that you’ve always given in every word each time you spoke to the people you loved the most. Let me tell you one thing; you don’t deserve any less than your worth." - The Truth About What You Truly Deserve In Life

8. Self-love is accepting your current circumstance as what you feel is always valid

It’s okay if you have a bad day, to be left by those fuckboys, to be rejected from that dream job which you’ve applied or having those messed-up mixed feelings for the whole day. Self-love is when you feel okay towards everything that life has thrown at you now.

"When life turns against you, please be kind to yourself. Please always find what feels good and don’t feel bad for what you’re feeling right now. You have the right to ask for help and you have to remember that there are some people out there who care about you more than you care about yourself." - When Life Turns Against You, Love YourselfEven More

9. Self-love is realizing that truthfully, the universe is always on your side

Self-love also means that you manage your expectations on guard. It is realizing that more often than not, you are the one who broke your own heart because you have too many expectations which never happened. Having a realization that the universe is actually always being kind to you is part of practicing self-love.

"You are the soul that the universe loved the most, that is why you’ve always confronted the ‘almost’ many times in your life. Because you deserve so much more than in your dream lists. You are a warrior and the ‘almost’ is saving you from the unfairness of this battlefield called life." - Read This If You’re Tired Of Being ‘Almost’ Good Enough

10. Self-love is about being kind to yourself

For summary, self-love is all about being kind to yourself. It is accepting yourself wholeheartedly and treating yourself like you treat your best friend. Self-love is building home within yourself- it is knowing that you don’t need anyone to make you fulfilled as you know that you are you own home.

"I hope you will brave enough to stand up for yourself, to speak the truth, and to defend yourself however how hard the situations will get. I wish you will be a little more you and a little less like them. I hope you will always have a voice to be heard and to be understood. I want you to be your own hero and become your own savior. I wish you will brave enough to speak the words which have to be said." - In 2018, Learn To Be Kind To Yourself Above All Else


Featured image via Thought Catalog


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